Under the Surface
by kate-7h
Summary: A bumpy horseback ride is the opposite of comfortable, especially with multiple fractured ribs. Mikasa's POV of the ride back. Set between chapter 50 and 51.


**A/N** : I felt like there was a missing scene in here, so I wrote it because I wanted it. Hope you guys like it!

* * *

Mikasa held in another gasp, the horse's stride was far from smooth. The pain in her chest was... bearable for now, if only just.

The bones were definitely fractured, she could tell not only from the pain, but also from the sound they had made when that Titan had squeezed her. Thank the day for Jean, and she'd need to tell him so when he woke. She wouldn't be alive if he hadn't done what he'd done. She'd be dead along with the rest they'd left behind. Mr. Hannes...

Mikasa pushed away the thought, her chest tightening. She was alive, and Eren was alive, and Armin and Jean and Sasha and Connie and Krista and the Commander and many others. They'd gotten Eren back and they'd survived, by some miracle that Eren possessed. He'd saved them all once more.

But none of this would have happened if things were the way they were supposed to be. Reiner and Bertholdt and Ymir too. Not just Annie. Mikasa shut her eyes against Eren's back. Relatively safe now, she let the betrayal hurt. And it did, it hurt. She was so angry and heartbroken and she wanted nothing more than their hearts ripped out for what they'd done. For the blood on their hands.

Mikasa cursed herself again and again, for letting those people have a place in her heart. Reckless and thoughtless. They were traitors, not comrades.

"You doin' alright?" Eren asked back to her.

Mikasa swallowed dryly. No, she really wasn't. She was afraid that if she opened her mouth, she'd bite through her own tongue for how hard she was clenching her jaw. Instead, she nodded once against his back.

Apparently she'd hesitated long enough for even Eren to see through her lie. He turned his head, looking at her from the side, concern in his face. Mikasa looked away from his eyes. She didn't need concern from him, she needed speed. They needed to reach the wall. Every moment outside was one moment more that someone else could be snatched away.

"I'm fine," she murmured, not unclamping her jaw. She decided to blame the tremble in her voice on the horse.

Eren looked forward again, but mutely squeezed the hands she had fisted against his stomach with his own. Mikasa nearly started. Eren hardly ever did anything like that. She must really be in bad shape. But still, it felt nice for the second he did. Then he let go and gripped the reins with both hands once more.

They rode like that for another hour, and Mikasa was starting to grow numb to the pain (or at least she told herself that she was.) But they still had a few more hours to go. She nearly had herself convinced that this was just a practice in endurance.

That is, until the path met a steep dip in the terrain, and the horse had to jump unexpectedly to avoid tripping. They floated up in the saddle, and the falling back down felt as if she were being crushed again.

This time, she couldn't hold back the scream as her bones displaced themselves once more. Warmth seeped out from them and she knew they'd broken her skin. Now blood loss would be an issue.

"Mikasa?!" Eren shouted back, slowing the horse down.

 _No, keep going_! She wanted to shout at him, but she couldn't get out the words. It hurt so bad, she could barely think of anything else.

"Eren, you can't stop yet!" Armin shouted from beside them, an unconscious Jean still wrapped around his back.

"But-"

"What'll help the most is getting back to the wall as soon as possible!" Armin cut in before Eren could say anything. Mikasa wished she could thank Armin right there. There was no time for Eren to be getting emotional right then.

"-Dammit!" Eren shouted, then pushed the horse harder, and they bumped even more than before.

Mikasa couldn't do much more than cry, sobbing silently into Eren's shirt (which did not help keep her broken bones still.) Her hands trembled as she gripped her fists against him.

"Hang on! We'll be there soon! Just hang on, Mikasa!"

At some point she must've passed out because one moment she was quietly gasping in agony and then the next Eren was dismounting the horse. Her whole body ached dully except for the sharp pangs when she breathed.

"Mikasa?" Eren asked from below her. His hand was on her hip, stabilizing her as she sat alone on the horse. "We've reached the wall."

She looked around and realized they were on one of the elevators used for lifting the horses over the wall.

Mikasa brought her hand up to her face, squeezing her eyes shut. This was supposed to be a relief, but she just felt dizzy and slightly nauseous.

"Anything happen... while I was out?" She asked, speaking slowly, trying to find a rhythm of breathing that didn't feel like she was being stabbed repeatedly.

"No," Eren replied. "It was relatively clear as we made our way back."

Mikasa nodded, slowly as to not jostle herself.

Eren looked up at her, his big green eyes boring into her, as if he had a million things to say. He didn't say them though. She could see guilt in the stare though. Pain not caused by broken bones. She was never very sure what to do with that sort of look. And there wasn't much she could think to say, (she was never much good with words anyway.)

If he wanted to say something, he missed the chance of having relative privacy on the elevator. Eren looked down again and led the horse off of the platform.

"Okay, time to get down," he said, reaching up to her.

Mikasa's heart stuttered slightly, but she turned away. "I can walk."

Eren stared at her for a moment before rolling his eyes. "Really?" He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

He held out a hand once more. "C'mon."

She swallowed, pushing away the blush in her cheeks (honestly she was too exhausted for that), and the grim anticipation of pain. She was balanced on the horse, her ribs not screaming in pain anymore. That would change once she moved an inch.

Despite that, she took Eren's hand and let him help her slide down to the wall's surface. She bit her lip, muffling her pained noises. Even with her arm around Eren's shoulders the way it was, she could barely support herself, she felt like her legs had liquified. If Eren hadn't been holding onto her, she was sure she'd have collapsed right there.

"Here, just-" Eren said, then reached down and lifted her by her legs, picking her up in arms. Mikasa couldn't help the pained squeak as he lifted her up. Her fist was trembling as she clenched it in the material of his shirt.

"Sorry," he muttered, his voice quiet.

Honestly, she was just too tired to even respond. She just let her head rest on his shoulder. Having the weight off of her legs helped a bit, but it definitely didn't cancel out having her torso bent for Eren to carry her like this. Mikasa let her eyes shut once more as he carried her on the top of the wall.

"Another wounded?" A voice said nearby. She didn't bother opening her eyes to see who'd spoke.

"Yes, sir," Eren replied.

"Alright, put her down right here."

"Yes, sir," he said again.

She felt the jerking movement as Eren knelt down, then placed her down as lightly as he could. The pain shot through her, but she remained quiet, imagining again that she couldn't feel anything.

Mikasa opened her eyes a crack, seeing a person kneeling to the side of a stretcher, opposite of Eren.

"Just like that, set her down gently," the medic instructed.

Once Eren moved his hands out from under her, the medic wasted no time undoing her poncho and straps to get a look at her ribcage. The air was cold, and the fabric of her shirt stuck to her skin. She shivered and winced as the medic lightly brushed her with his fingertips.

"Rib fractures, compounded by long periods of being shaken on a horse, huh?" he muttered, a harsh edge to his voice, as if her were annoyed with her. "You'd better see a doctor quickly."

The medic apparently didn't deem it necessary to wrap her wounds just then, he'd probably have the doctor do it. Instead he buttoned her shirt back up, but left her straps undone. As he did this, Mikasa looked back up to Eren. He had that guilty, thousand-thought look on his face again as he looked down at her, though he didn't really seem to be looking at her. God, she hated it.

"Eren…" she said, her voice quiet and a lot more controlled than before. Good. He looked back to her, and it was almost too much. That expression, she just wanted it to never be on his face again. She let her eyes slide away and lifted her hand. "I'm fine."

Eren was quiet for a moment, then he let out a small sigh. "I'm sorry," he said, soft and sad sounding.

She looked up at that, but he wasn't looking at her anymore. And Armin was there, his hand on Eren's shoulder, leading him away. She let her eyes close again, too tired to even move her head to watch him go.

* * *

 **A/N** : Reviews are very much appreciated. I hope you readers liked it!


End file.
